June 9, 2020
I have loving Christian parents and grew up in the church. However, as a Pastor’s daughter, I felt a burden of expectation that I could never live up to, nor that could relate with my adventurous spirit. In my early teens, I stopped going to church altogether. My interests and identity were shaped by my worldly friendships and culture, and while I knew about Jesus, I “neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him”. I worked hard at school and work, finding my worth in the acceptance of others. I gratified the desires of the flesh through partying, drinking, immorality, and the like. The world was my oyster, and I did what I wanted. Even so, I wasn’t totally estranged from Christianity. My parents had given me a Bible with a front cover that appealed to my interests, and I was curious enough to occasionally open it and start reading, but never for long as it didn’t make sense to me. When I was 17, that began to change. While travelling alone overseas, God widened my perspective as He put me through uncompromising experiences that quelled my pride. Although I came to know the Lord was to be revered, I was afraid of losing the acceptance of my friends and the freedom to follow my own interests. When I returned home, my world was shaken even more. One of my sisters was battling aggressive cancer and undergoing chemotherapy. I was staring into the face of death; but I realised it wasn’t hers, it was my own. While I was scared and angry, she was able to praise her Lord whom she trusted. I would criticise her faith, but she was not ashamed. For her, Jesus was even more precious than life. I was forced to ask again; Who is this Jesus? Living out of home, not knowing where else to turn, the Lord brought me to read Romans and for the first time my eyes were opened to understand the gospel. God’s love and mercy weren’t based on my efforts nor my will but on His faithfulness and sacrifice. All my life I had heard people telling me who they thought Jesus was, but now I finally knew Him, revealed by grace, through his Word. Christ brought me into new life through the Spirit as I called upon his name. Although I sometimes struggled with my old habits, they no longer defined me; I needn’t be afraid or put to shame. Each day through prayer and reading the Bible give me new encouragement and freedom from the sin that once enslaved me. I have come to know Jesus Christ not only as my Saviour but also my Lord. It is no longer I who lives, but He in me. Whatever is given up, Jesus promises incomprehensibly better. He has given me a new identity and living hope, setting my eyes on the glory and riches of eternal life with Him. Praise be to God.