Kylie Crawford
I was brought up in a Christian home in which both parents were passionately involved in Sunday school and actively involved in the church fellowship. During childhood I was sustained by my parents’ faith and their commitment. As a teenager I enjoyed church fellowship in the various church and Christian activities and during this time I put a ‘Christian face’ on but I never made the heart commitment to accept Jesus as my saviour. I’d hear the call from the pulpit to come forward to accept Jesus as my saviour and pray the sinners pray but always resisted. ‘I’m not ready’.... ‘It’s not for me at the moment’... and ‘I’m going to fail God being a Christian’... were a few of the many excuses I gave myself. In my early adulthood whilst attending church Jesus touched my heart and I acknowledged his calling and gave myself to him. All these excuses fell away... I needed Jesus... I was a sinner and no matter how I was living my life, whether attending church or not, I was not in God’s favour until I finally put my trust in Jesus.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6
The years that followed I was baptised in the Baptist church, became a member and raised my children in knowing Jesus. I came to the Presbyterian Church when my children were participating in kids outreach programs and soon I began to attend regularly. Though I have been attending for a number of years I now feel it’s time to make this Church my home and commit to glorify and worship God within his family here.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17). I was born in Brisbane into a Hindu family. I grew up not really knowing our God, but karma demands that I pray to a god for good things to happen. By the time I got to my third year of university I was exhausted, depressed and dying. My atheism became an insatiable, self-destructive darkness; a spiritual isolation that consumed me. I looked healthy, but I was really a terrified kid with no discernment of up from down or good from evil. In 2019, I reached out to a friend who I knew was a Christian. I felt different. I didn’t understand it, but I really wanted to go to church. When I did, I felt a tsunami gathering strength at the very edge of my heart and at the very precipice of my nihilism. A wave of something new washed over my soul. I sat in church and for the first time I thought… “what would it mean if all this Christian stuff was true?” That’s all God needed. He was the tsunami coming for me. I heard the Gospel for the first time and it changed my life. On that Sunday morning, I saw the world and my heart in a way I had never seen it before. I realised Jesus provided me with a simple answer to all my unanswered questions. He offered me forgiveness without asking anything except but faith in him. I began to realise there was nothing I could do to fill the dark and ravenous emptiness that had almost completely consumed me. It had already been done for me. God did not negate my pain, instead he used my pain and brought me salvation through it. After becoming Christian, my life wasn’t all easy sailing, but none of the hardships I’ve faced have anything on one simple word that believing in Jesus has given me: joy. Now, my life is dedicated to Jesus. I believe that my many sins are forgiven, that I am saved by grace through my faith in Jesus Christ, my saviour, and I finally know God. God made him who had no sin, become my sin. I love Him. I live for Him. And now I can say with a smile, not a frown, I would die for Him.
He left His Father’s throne above, so free, so infinite His grace, Emptied Himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race; ‘Tis mercy all, immense and free, for O my God, it found out me! (Charles Wesley, And can it be?) I cannot identify specifically when I became a Christian. Rather, God in His mercy brought me into contact with Christians over many years. They told me about Jesus and the gospel. Unlike CS Lewis (my favourite author) I was not a reluctant convert, just a very slow one. In childhood there was RE at school. My non-believing parents sent me to Sunday school at a local church for a few years so I could make up my own mind. In secondary school at an Anglican boys’ school we heard the bible read and sang great hymns (I memorised And can it be) at chapel and assembly several times a week. Out of this came a conviction that I should go to church, but I didn’t know where or how. Just then a leaflet appeared in the letterbox about a new congregation starting up near home. What a coincidence! At sixteen I started going to church and reading the bible. By then I knew some facts: Jesus is the eternally begotten Son of God the Father, who became a man and was crucified for the sins of the whole world, and anyone who believes in Him has eternal life. (I wasn’t too sure about that Resurrection business, however, but maybe that was optional.) I also knew I was a sinner (that was made clear to us at school). But it made little difference to how I lived. Things became clearer when a faithful friend took me along to the Christian Union at Melbourne Uni. The staff workers laid it out: Jesus lived the perfect life that I should live (but can’t) and died the death that I deserve (so I don’t have to). I began to feel grateful to God for what he had done for me (And can it be began to make more sense). In our CU cell group we read Holiness by J C Ryle. I very slowly began to understand that, while I could never earn God’s favour (and didn’t need to), the way I live matters to God. I’m still learning to put that into practice decades later. Thirteen years ago, our church in Hobart got a new minister, who preached often and with obvious joy about the Resurrection. I already believed that Jesus rose from the dead, but I began to see (and feel) more clearly that Jesus is not only my Saviour, but the glorious, beautiful, awesome Lord of the Universe. I still have so much to learn. But knowing Jesus gives me hope in a bewildering world and gratitude for His mercy, kindness and patience (Lord I believe, help my unbelief). The Spirit keeps patiently pushing me along the way to becoming more like Him.
My journey of faith in the Lord Jesus began almost 50 years ago at the age of 17. For years earlier I had attended the small Baptist church at the end of our street and attended Sunday School, Boys club and School Holiday programs run by godly men and women who taught and lived Gods Word in their daily lives. To be honest my primary motivation in attending Church in those days was a selfish desire to be in an atmosphere of security and peace often missing from a home life clouded by the effects of alcohol. Thinking of it years later I thank God that he called a sinner such as me to repentance despite misguided motivations. Baptism at the age of 17 for me was the time I fully accepted Christ’s perfect sacrifice for my sin and His resurrection power that provides hope and certainty of salvation. As unwise as it may be to have a favorite passage of Scripture, mine is found in 2 Kings chapter 6. In the midst of a period of Idolatry in Israel’s history we see in this account God’s extravagant mercy and grace being extended to a brutal Aramean army and by extension, me. By God’s power the Arameans are blinded and led by the prophet Elisha to the stronghold of Israel - Samaria. With their sight restored and standing in Samaria I wonder what the Aramean soldiers expected would happen next? What did they deserve as Israel’s enemy? Certainly Israel’s king, Jehoram seemed to think a slaughter of God’s enemies would be in order! But here God through his prophet deviates from the script. Rather than an unmerciful death, God’s character is revealed for all to see. A “Feast” is prepared for the captives before setting them free. I love this story for it highlights God's extravagance in His love for the sinful and broken who were alienated from Him. His mercy is unlimited and His grace unmerited not only to Aramean soldiers but also to us. It is my prayer that as those faithful servants demonstrated Christ’s love to me as a young person I can do the same in my interactions with those around me, that the gifts God has provided me be used to uplift and encourage others of faith as we serve and worship the risen Lord Jesus together in community.